Distortions

The uncertainties

The blocks

The fears

Fear of confirmation

That I’m truly not enough

Not enough to fight for

Not enough to protect

Filled with desperation

To bring joy

To ease stress

To feel protected

Immune to hits of

Disgust

Pain or rejection

Starving for creased eyes

Gentle arms

And open ears

To be loved

My eagerness to please

Was taken advantage of

But that desire to dry tears

To elicit laughter

To reorient and reframe

Still lives as

A yearning in my heart

A gift torn and returned

Wrapped and rewrapped

In lessons of

I am not lovable

Creased mouths enjoy

But only to an extent

I know how to please

To curve lips

To lift chins

Expectations to make others happy

But I don’t expect to be understood

Helped

Seen or

Heard

I already learned

The darkness I hold

Is too much

If the shadows played and

Reflected back in their eyes

They would cloud

Who I am supposed to be

A servant

An object

A tool

As I am

I am useless

Worthless

Without giving anything

This body holds no value

I can’t be loved for who I am