“This journey of healing

Is mine to take”

“I was trapped

In a rose covered shack

Where others saw and envied

The petals

And I not able to wiggle

Past the thorns”

“I won’t tell you about the shame that lies below

I may name it

Describe it on surface level

But I won’t describe how it torments me”

“Let myself open up

Releasing blocks

Letting them drip off

Like melting icicles”

“Expanding each moment

Holding tightly

Not wanting to let go”

“Paranoia

In the mist

Doubting my clarity

Invading my present”

“For people to see my worth

I must give

Provide

Serve

I can’t be loved for who I am”

“A sinking effect

On my chest and throat

Pulling my gulp before I swallow”

“I push aside the soil

Excavating jewels

My meaning from the pain

That now decorate my story”

“Drawn in

Pane after pane

Light after color

Flicker

My eyes follow”

“How must I heal

When tainted voices

And slathered vile

Splash my internal mind and skin”

“I have been shut out

Rendered vulnerable

And helpless

To the outside world”

“When I freeze throughout my day

I sense you with me”

“But the anger slept beside me

And awoke with me”

“My guilt for pleasure

Has generalized to all things joyful

Compounded by the abusive touches

To my mind body and spirit”

“If I showed what was truly within

All the shadows

That decorate my walls

What would you do”

“There’s something about that spotlight

That I can’t stand”

“Just as the consumerism

That dirties our minds

So too are the excess sounds

That we hoard”

“My movement is my resistance”

“I have been taught

That my body isn’t mine

Through messages

Audible and invisible”