Triggered while numb

I weep

But it doesn’t feel real

As though my tears

Have transformed into

Novocain

I know I should feel

So, I push more

Shoving each drop thru my ducts

As though the contortion of my face

The squint of my eye

The pounding of my head

And the air’s cold kiss

On the wetness of my skin

Will cue

The vents to open

Releasing the heat

From the boil of my overcooked vile

An imprisoned heat’s release

As my child hoped for relief

My mind plays images

And I see your face

I’m faced with fear

That I can’t trust you

And yet remember

In my body

Moments that I did

My heart

Beats low

And I look around

As though attuning to objects

That exist outside of me

Will remind me

That I’m real

The inside

Of my existence has grown heavy

And numb

My feet are lifted off the ground

And I’m pulled through the air

Past the dark hallways

With windows that promise light

Furniture is thrown

Glass is shattered

Curtains fly back

And the air

Becomes denser and denser

My ears are deafened

And like the starry night sky

Glimmers of hope speed past me

The darkness

Stretches

Now condensed

Into a block of marble

Before me

I have been shut out

Rendered vulnerable

And helpless

To the outside world

But I’m too scared to walk away

So, I turn around

And lean against the door

Illusionary gravity

Pulling me down into a fold

I wrap my knees

In my own embrace

And I wait

For you to return home