Flashbacks

Images play

High touch

No sound

Were there sounds when it was happening?

Chuckles

Me floating away

Retreating

I was never hit

I was lucky

I didn’t have to feel

The pain that I witnessed

Instead I was taken

Into shadows

Hidden in plain sight

Every grocery trip

Every night shift

Every weekend

Was an opportunity

I was told

To make my family happy

But in every passing

Hug

And hello

Parts of me were taken

It was normal

Both the spoken and unspoken

The permissible

Promise of happiness and safety

The prohibited

Sharing with others

I was trapped

In a rose covered shack

Where others saw and envied

Wishing they could enter

Yet I was left

In collapsed helplessness

Unable to wiggle

Past the thorns

People walked by

Smiling with a wave

Or brows furrowed

Aware of what they don’t have

Am I doing enough?

Will my family be happy?

I shake my head

A quick and firm

Toss to opposite sides

An inaudible stop

Leaves my lips

And I roll over

Quiet and slow

Whispering reminders

That I’m safe